What is perfection...?

 

 

No one really knows if perfection exists or not. It may exist; it may not exist. That´s not the point. The point is that if you want to love yourself, you can´t keep measuring yourself against standards that were set by self-hate. Perfection is a standard set by self-hate, and we are all subject to its tyranny.

When we are little, we come to the conclusion that to be loved, we have to be good. Because we want so badly to be loved, we spend all our energy trying to be good, trying to earn approval, and trying to win other people´s good opinions. In short, because we want love, we spend a lot of time trying to be perfect. We don´t know how to do anything differently even though we know that all the efforts we´re extending to gain love aren´t working.

This is how, early on, we became caught on the hook of seeking perfection. The problem with perfection isn´t the idea of perfection in and of itself; it´s that we attached our self-worth to the achievement of our idea of perfection.

This just doesn’t work because perfection was never meant to be something to measure ourselves against. Perfection isn´t something we have seen with our own eyes; it´s merely a symbolic idea that self-hate has fallen in love with. Self-hate has figured out that it can use the idea of perfection to keep us chasing a carrot that we can never catch. That is why self-hate is the one that sets the standard of perfection. The only way that it can stay in control and keep us chasing the carrot is if it convinces us that unless we catch that carrot, we are worthless and no one will love us.

If perfection is the standard by which you measure yourself, I can guarantee you will never emprove enough meet your own standards. The solution is to ignore the idea of perfection and accept and embrace yourself exactly as you are, right here and now. I´m talking about embracing and accepting all of you, as you are in this very moment.